Keep On Flowing

as the title says, I've been having this feeling of late. It's a very good feeling, as oppose to the ever anxiety-inducing feeling about the future, which loomed over my head during covid.  A big part of it definitely has to do with finding my current job. It's a much better fit for myself compared to the last. Having work sorted out really takes the stress out of life, at least I found that to be true. I no longer incessently worry about what I'm not doing enough to progress in my profession or do I try to pack more studying after work to squeeze every bit of juice left in my personal hour. At certain point, I felt pretty dead inside, not because I felt really tired, but rather, I was fully aware that I was sacrificing each moment today for "tomorrow" under the belief that putting more work in will increase my chances of finding a better opportunity. In some sense, that was needed and was necessary, but to a point.  When you're living purely for the futur...

  This first ever post will be dedicated to myself. I will give myself permission to fail, to write a shitty first draft, and most importantly, to get started on anything I really want to do. There is nothing quite like having yourself getting in the way of wanting to do something. As is for writing, in English, in Mandarin, or in Japanese. I can feel a resistence against presenting anything that feels unpolished; I think that is our ego fearing judgement, wanting to protect itself, yet that often gets in the way of real progress that one truly needs.  There is something freeing about writing. And then there's something freeing about expressing your thoughts as they arrive, unvarnished and true.    So, really, we just gotta learn to let go. Like ripping off the band-aid over something that needs sunlight; Like the lyrics that I'm listening to right now. "Rid yourself of your vanities and just go with the seasons." - I'm Yours